My Cringey Run-In with Harassment—What Even Counts?
What counts as harassment? Yo, I’m sprawled on my couch in my tiny-ass Brooklyn apartment, the radiator hissing like it’s got an attitude, and I’m still freaking out about the time I didn’t even clock that I was being harassed. So, last summer, I’m at this hipster co-working spot in Williamsburg—y’know, exposed brick, oat milk lattes that cost more than my lunch. This dude, let’s call him Chad, kept “joking” about my outfits. I’m like, “Haha, Chad, you’re a riot, whatever.” But then it got creepy—comments about my body, my schedule, even my freaking coffee order. It was like a slow burn of awkward, and I kept thinking, Is this harassment or am I just being dramatic? Newsflash: It was harassment.
Harassment ain’t always some loud, in-your-face thing. Chad wasn’t twirling a mustache like a cartoon bad guy. Sometimes it’s subtle, like a coworker’s “teasing” that makes you wanna yeet yourself out the nearest window. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) says harassment is any unwanted crap tied to your gender, race, or whatever that makes your workplace feel like a dumpster fire. But IRL? It’s that gross feeling in your stomach when someone’s “joke” hits like a brick.
Why Spotting Harassment Feels Like a Damn Puzzle
Here’s where I totally ate it. I didn’t even get that Chad’s comments were harassment at first. I’m like, “He’s not screaming or threatening me, so it’s chill, right?” Nah, big nope. Harassment can be words, like Chad’s weird-ass remarks, or even sketchy stuff like someone leaving random notes on your desk (yep, a friend got that nonsense). It’s anything that makes you feel unsafe or like garbage over and over. The U.S. Department of Labor lists stuff like offensive jokes, slurs, or unwanted touching as examples.
Here’s what I figured out after screwing it up:
- It’s about how it feels, not what they meant. Chad probably thought he was comedy gold, but I was dreading that co-working space like it was a haunted house.
- It’s gotta be a pattern or real bad. One rude comment? Annoying as hell. A whole vibe of awfulness? That’s harassment, fam.
- It gets personal. If it’s targeting your identity—gender, race, whatever—it’s more likely to count.
I wish I’d known this sooner. Instead, I spent weeks overthinking, chugging nasty coffee, and Googling “what counts as harassment” at 2 a.m. while my cat glared at me like, “Dude, you’re a mess.”
Online Harassment—It’s a Total Shitshow
Okay, jump to this year. I’m in a bodega, dodging a sticky floor and some guy losing it over sandwich prices, scrolling X on my phone. I post about freelancing, and bam—nasty replies. Like, straight-up vile attacks and creepy-ass DMs. Online harassment is a whole thing, y’all. It’s not just “trolls being trolls.” If someone’s coming at you with threats, doxxing, or nonstop hate, that’s harassment. The Cyberbullying Research Center says 44% of people have dealt with online abuse. Almost half of us! That’s bananas.
My dumbass mistake? I clapped back at the trolls. Thought I’d outsmart ‘em with some spicy replies. Nope. It was like tossing a Molotov cocktail into a trash fire. Don’t do it. Block, mute, report. X has a reporting tool—just hit the three dots, click “Report,” and do the thing. I reported some creeps while eating a bodega egg sandwich, crumbs all over my phone, and felt a lil’ bit like a badass.
How to Report Harassment Without Completely Losing Your Shit
Reporting harassment is like trying to parallel park in Brooklyn during rush hour—makes you wanna scream. When I finally told the co-working space manager about Chad, I was shaking like crazy, probably from nerves and the five espressos I’d slammed. Here’s what I learned about reporting harassment, whether it’s at work or online:
- Write down every damn thing. I started screenshotting Chad’s emails and jotting his comments in my Notes app. Dates, times, all the creepy stuff. Felt like I was playing CSI, but it was clutch when I reported him.
- Find your workplace’s rules. Most places have a harassment policy—mine was buried in some boring-ass handbook. The Society for Human Resource Management has sample policies if you’re curious.
- Talk to a homie first. I vented to a coworker over some greasy tacos, and she helped me figure out what to say to HR. Having a ride-or-die makes it easier.
- Make it official. For work stuff, hit up HR or a manager. For online harassment, use the platform’s tools or, if it’s real bad, call the cops. The National Center for Victims of Crime has dope resources.
My big screw-up? I waited way too long to report Chad. Kept thinking I was overreacting. Nah, fam. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Trust your gut.
What I’ve Learned About What Counts as Harassment
Real talk: I’m still figuring out what counts as harassment. Like, I’m sitting here, my apartment a disaster, laundry everywhere, my neighbor blasting reggaeton like it’s a personal vendetta. Harassment is anything that makes you feel small, unsafe, or targeted—IRL or online. Reporting it? Scary as hell, but it’s worth it. I felt like a damn queen after reporting Chad, even if I cried in the bathroom after, mascara running like a bad movie.
Wrapping Up This Harassment Rant
So, yeah, that’s my hot mess of a take on what counts as harassment. It’s not always obvious, and reporting it feels like a wild-ass ride, but you deserve to feel safe, you know? If you’re dealing with this, I’m rooting for you, for real. Check those resources, write it all down, and don’t sit on it like I did. Got a story or some tips on handling harassment? Slide into my DMs on X or drop a comment. Let’s keep it 100.
