Mental load’s got me acting real dumb, y’all. I’m sitting here in my Philly apartment, coffee cold, my kid’s crayons scattered on the floor, and my phone’s blowing up with work emails I’m ignoring. Like, how am I supposed to remember to buy milk, call my mom, and figure out if I paid the cable bill? This invisible work, this mental chaos, is eating me alive. I’m just a regular gal trying to keep it together in 2025, so here’s my messy, slightly embarrassing take on dealing with the mental load—hope it resonates.
Why the Mental Load Feels Like a Punch
The mental load ain’t just chores—it’s the brain-drain of keeping track of everything. I was skimming this article from The Guardian and it hit me hard. It’s not just washing dishes; it’s knowing we’re out of soap, the kid needs new plates, and did I RSVP to that birthday party? Last week, I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning cause I was too busy remembering my neighbor’s dog’s name for some reason. I felt so stupid when I showed up in a wrinkled shirt to a meeting.
- It’s that constant “what am I forgetting?” panic.
- It’s feeling like a failure when you miss something small, like forgetting to pack snacks.
- It’s pretending you’re fine while your brain’s screaming.
Guys deal with stress too, I get it, but this emotional labor? It’s mostly us women carrying it, and I’m tired.
My Dumbest Mental Load Moment
Okay, this one’s bad. A couple weeks back, I was so stressed about scheduling my kid’s dentist appointment that I left my keys in the fridge. Yes, the fridge. I was putting away yogurt, answering a work call, and mentally checking if we had enough diapers. Hours later, I’m tearing my place apart, only to find my keys next to the eggs. I laughed, then cried, cause who even does that? That’s the mental load—making you a walking disaster.
How I’m (Sorta) Dealing with This Mental Chaos
I’m no guru, trust me. My life’s a dumpster fire some days, but I’ve got a few tricks for handling this mental load nonsense. They’re not perfect, and I mess up plenty, but here’s my real, unfiltered take.
Tip 1: Write It Down, Like, All of It
I started doing brain dumps after seeing it on Healthline. You just scribble every dumb thing stressing you out in a notebook. Mine’s got stuff like “buy toothpaste, call daycare, why am I so tired?” It’s a mess, but it helps my brain breathe. Don’t use your phone—those apps just ping you with more crap to stress about.
Tip 2: Just Say “Nope”
I used to be a “yes” person—work stuff, school stuff, all of it. Now I’m trying to say “nope” and mean it. Last month, I bailed on helping with a bake sale. Felt guilty for a minute, but then I took a bath instead. A bath! This HuffPost article helped me not hate myself for it. Try it—it’s freeing.
Tip 3: Hand Off What You Can
I can’t afford a personal chef or whatever, but I’m trying to delegate. So, I use this app called Trello to track tasks, and it’s saved me a couple times. I also told my partner, “You’re doing bedtime stories Wednesday.” He read the book upside down once, but we laughed, and now he’s better. Asking for help feels like I’m failing, but it’s better than me losing it.
The Mental Load’s Shitty Secret
Here’s where I get pissed. The mental load isn’t just about tasks—it’s how society expects women to handle it all and smile. I was told I could “have it all,” but nobody mentioned “all” includes a brain that never shuts off. My partner’s awesome, but he can just… chill. Like, he’s scrolling TikTok while I’m mentally planning Christmas dinner in August. I love him, but that gap in emotional labor? It stings.
I was venting to my therapist (yep, I’m in therapy, sue me), and she sent me this study from the American Psychological Association. It says women do way more invisible work, even in “equal” relationships. I was like, “Duh,” but also, “Why’s it still like this in 2025?” It’s maddening.
My Worst Mental Load Screw-Up
Last fall, I tried to nail Thanksgiving. Planned the menu, invited everyone, cleaned the house—then forgot to thaw the turkey. We ended up eating pizza, and I was so embarrassed I hid in the bathroom and cried. My family thought it was hilarious, but I felt like a total loser. Now I’m all about “good enough.” This year, I’m buying half the sides from a deli, and I’m not apologizing.
Wrapping Up My Mental Load Rant
So, yeah, the mental load’s a beast, and I’m not exactly slaying it. Some days, I feel like I’m winning—like when I get through a work call and still pack my kid’s lunch. Other days, I’m just surviving, chugging coffee and hoping I don’t lose my phone. If you’re drowning in this mental chaos too, I see you. I’m right here, spilling my coffee and swearing at my to-do list.
Got your own mental load disasters? Comment below or DM me—I wanna hear ‘em. And if you’ve got tips that don’t involve me becoming a robot, I’m all ears. Let’s keep it real, cause us women? We’re messy, but we’re freaking tough.
Outbounding Links:-
Explores strategies to lighten women’s disproportionate household mental load.
Discusses mental load impact on women’s health and coping methods.
