The next stage is marriage, right?
So it’s all figured out, or at least so I thought. I’m 33 years old, a certified physiatrist, and if things go as planned (which they rarely do! and thank God they don’t, for then life would be ultra boring!) I’ll get married and settle down. This is a change that some look forward to, some dread, and some accept as an unofficial death sentence! I have friends who are married (through both love and arranged marriage), divorced, and also single at 43.
Being single is one hell of a blessing. You can eat what you want, any way you want (you don’t have to worry about which hand holds the spoon or fork, as long as the food reaches the mouth!). I don’t think married guys have the freedom to check out other girls; some even have panic attacks when a nubile girl passes by, when they’re with their spouse. The toilet seat can be left up, down or even broken to pieces, because I don’t give a damn!
Both sides of the argument
One of my married friends claims the worst thing about married life is that women take forever to get ready. He claims if he books a movie ticket for the 6 pm show, he’ll end up watching the 9 pm show, and also listen to his wife complaining about the poor service inside the theatre! He may be exaggerating a bit, but waiting is not exactly one of my favourite pastimes. He also hates sharing the TV remote, which, he says, should be a legal offence. The last time he went shopping with his wife, he complained, she spent 3 hours choosing a handbag!
Another friend, meanwhile, considers his marriage the best thing in his whole life. He wakes every morning, goes to the garden and plucks a rose for his wife, and wakes her up with a kiss. His whole life has blossomed since he got married; he got two promotions in the last year, bought a new car, and so on. Every time I see them, walking hand in hand, I always send a prayer out to God, asking him to find me a relationship like that!
You can’t have it all your own way
These two examples got me thinking…. Single life has its freedoms and perks, but I’m sure so does married life.
If a woman can carry my child for 9 months, I think she deserves time to select that handbag.
If a woman can carry my child for 9 months, I think she deserves time to select that handbag.
At each stage of growth, we compromise a little (you can’t pee in your pants when you’re in your 30s, you can’t get carried around by your parents when you’re 5 years old), and so I’m ready to compromise for the sake of a good married life…
The TV remote issue will never be an issue in my case, as I don’t spend much time in front of ‘the idiot box’…
When my wife is dissing the food service inside a movie theatre, I can pacify her; I’ll find a way (if the situation crops up!)…
And yes, there could be rough days, and bitter fights, but God will protect my married life, the best He can…
I’m prepared to do my best
I’m sure there are books to deal with any issues that may crop up. I also know that once you marry a woman, you have to treat her like a princess, and protect her like a knight. Existentialism may not be the best place to look for relationship advice, but Nietzsche nailed it when he said: “The secret of a happy married life is to fall in love with the same person, over and over again.”
Existentialism may not be the best place to look for relationship advice, but Nietzsche nailed it when he said: “The secret of a happy married life is to fall in love with the same person, over and over again.”
So I don’t think this change that I’m facing is anything more than ‘ecdysis’ (a term in biology for shedding skin), a necessary and wonderful experience.
