Every guy in the world has wondered how to have a conversation with a girl at some point. Yes, the ones everyone considers the greatest stunts and the players included.
Let’s face it: men have a harder time breaking the ice. You have to take the first step, find a great conversation starter, and keep communication alive, which isn’t always the easiest thing in the world.
At the same time, you put yourself at risk of being rejected all the time – and that’s something no one appreciates, no matter how confident you are.
Therefore, it is perfectly natural to wonder how to maintain a conversation with a girl, especially if you are a newbie in these areas.
You have no idea about the unwritten rules about dating and hitting girls. You’re a guy who wants to play his cards right, but at the same time terrified of making the wrong move and blowing things up before you even start.
Well, don’t worry because I am protecting you. Here’s a detailed tutorial on how to keep a conversation going with a girl – both in person and via text.
How to have a conversation with a girl in person?
Approaching girls in person is not easy for everyone. First of all, you don’t have time to think about what to say next. You have to be quick-witted and quick if you want to impress her.
Plus, she’ll notice if you blush or twist your tongue. Therefore, you have to be the best in yourself if you want anything to be right. Well here is how you are going to do it.
1. You cannot be confident without your own approval.
There is one thing that is crucial when it comes to talking to girls. It doesn’t matter if you are wondering how to have a conversation with a girl, if you are just learning to approach women, or if you want to hone your flirting skills – confidence is everything.
Don’t listen to anyone tell you that girls only fall for rich men, or that you have to look like you’ve stepped out of a magazine cover to attract a decent woman. Don’t get me wrong: the truth is, you need to have a certain set of qualities to keep the other sex around you.
But the most important thing of all is your confidence. If you’re struggling with insecurities, you’ll fail before you even try anything.
Imagine this situation. You talk to a girl you like and it’s pretty clear that she’s interested in you too.
However, you don’t believe in yourself from the start. You consider yourself underweight and wonder why this awesome girl is even giving you her time.
It’s nothing she’s done – you just see her as out of your league. You haven’t even started dating, but you’re already worried that she’ll throw you out, and you see it all as a disaster ahead.
Obviously you have serious self-esteem issues. You don’t see yourself as a worthy man, and that prevents you from making bigger moves.
Well, without realizing it, you’re actually sending this girl (and everyone else) a strong message with this kind of behavior. You don’t consider yourself worthy, so why would she?
Show her that you believe in yourself and she will follow
Look, I’ll be honest with you here. We all have our share of insecurity. But does that mean you should allow them to get the best of you and ruin your chance for happiness? Certainly not.
With all of this in mind, the key to successfully speaking with girls is pretty simple – it all depends on your confidence. If you show a girl that you believe in yourself, she will follow your lead for sure.
If you respect yourself, she will see you as worthy of respect. If you think you are valuable, she will also see your value. This is how things work in the dating world.
I’m not telling you to be overly self-admiring or egotistical. Just keep telling yourself that it will work for the best. And, even if it isn’t, it’s not the end of the world.
2. The opportunity is not gift-wrapped – you have to take risks.
I will not lie to you: it is rare for things to go well in life, especially when it comes to girls. If you’re a hopeless romantic, you might expect to run into the woman of your dreams on the most ordinary day of your life.
Well, while that would be great, in the real world it’s unlikely to happen. The truth is, in most cases, you will not be given the opportunity. Instead, you have to strive for it.
No, I’m not talking about the old days when you literally had to fight for the woman you love or even start a war to win her heart.
I’m talking about the fact that no lady will appear at your door in gift wrapping. You won’t magically learn to have a conversation with a girl, date women, or make them fall in love with you.
Whether you like it or not, you have to take risks. I’ll be honest here: you will fail many times. But hey, there will also be times when you thrive, and that’s exactly what makes chess worthy.
You know what they say: nothing has ventured, nothing has won.
Look, you always have a choice. You can choose to play it safe. This way, you will protect yourself from any possibility of losing, being rejected, or making a fool of yourself.
You won’t have to worry about the girls. There won’t be any humiliation, sleepless nights, sweaty palms, or nervous feelings in your stomach every time you need to talk to her …
You can stay in your comfort zone, waiting for a miracle to happen. If we are real this miracle will probably never happen, but hey, we can hope.
On the other hand, if you choose to take risks, you will go through all that stress. But believe me: it will all pay off in the end.
What does this mean in practice? Well, for example, when you see a girl you like don’t wait too long to approach her because if you don’t do anything right away someone else will.
Don’t wait until the perfect time to start the conversation because that moment may never come and before you know it the opportunity is lost.
So my advice here is pretty straightforward: go for it. When you see a girl you like, act immediately. Even if you fail, at least you’ll know you’ve tried.
3. If you don’t plan, you plan to fail.
Yes, I told you to go for it, which indicates that you have to follow your instincts and be as spontaneous as possible. Well, while it sounds good in theory, in practice things don’t always go as planned.
After awhile, you’ll have tons of icebreakers and pickup cords on your sleeve. It will be enough to look at the girl to find the most convenient entry line to make her fall.
However, you are not there yet. You’re just learning to keep the conversation going, which probably means you don’t have much experience with girls (or maybe you just don’t have any experience yet).
Either way, the point is, at this point you can’t just approach a girl with no idea what you’re about to say. You are a newbie and this paves the way for anxiety to get the most out of you.
Imagine a hypothetical situation. You’ve worked on your self-esteem, you don’t see yourself as a pathetic loser, and you are aware that you have to take risks to accomplish something.
It’s not that you think of yourself as that player who can win all the girls in the world. You are ready for failure, but you don’t expect it either.
In short, you consider yourself ready to strike up a conversation with a woman.
You are going out with friends and a certain girl grabs your attention. You can’t take your eyes off her and decide that’s it. This is your chance to do things differently.
Unlike all those other times, this time you’re going to take a step. After all, what is there to lose? The worst thing that can happen is his rejection. But you’ve been through this scenario before and you know that even if it ends badly, it won’t be the end of you.
So you are doing exactly what you have never had the courage to do before. You go up to her and you both meet.
And after that? That’s right – you’re standing right there in front of her, unable to utter a word.
Why? Well, because you have no idea what you could or should say. It’s been ages since you got this far and it’s natural to be completely confused.
Let’s face it: this scenario is highly likely, and if you want to avoid it, you can’t be so spontaneous. Instead, you’ve got a bit of planning to do before you even strike up a conversation with the girl, let alone consider how to keep her alive.
Please don’t take everything so literally. I don’t advise you to put together a bunch of collection lines and conversation topics and go around with your little notebook that you’ll read every time you talk to a girl.
I just want you to imagine this conversation in your head before it happens. Of course, you can never predict every little thing (especially the girl’s responses), but you can certainly make a general plan.
What will be your opening line? Will you use humor to your advantage? Do you want to give her a compliment before anything else? What will be your asset?
If she gives you the green light, what will your next move be? Will you try to ask him to come right away? Or will you focus on organizing a date? Are you going to get her number and go to texting?
What will happen if she rejects you? Are you going to keep pushing her or are you going to take “no” for an answer and back off at this point?
So many questions and no answers in sight. Don’t let any of them put you off.
I don’t want you to think through all of these questions in detail. I just want you to plan ahead to reduce the possibility of failure.
Don’t give the impression that you are reciting an already learned speech when standing in front of a girl – trust me, she will notice. Don’t plan out phrases that you will use to hit her.
All you need are the basics. You need a framework for your strategy before you start to act.