As if your crushing breakup wasn’t enough, recently you found out that your ex is seeing someone new when you haven’t budged an inch.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for two and a half years or two and a half months or when exactly you broke up – an achievement like this is always painful.
As if that wasn’t enough that you miss them so much, now you are also trying to figure out how to stop thinking about your ex with someone else.
You don’t seem to understand the idea that they’ve evolved so quickly. What is going on with this new person? Is it a rebound relationship or are they really in love?
Even though these thoughts are extremely unhealthy, I am not here to judge you. Nonetheless, I will tell you that you must do something about them if you are planning to heal your broken heart.
But how exactly? How do you stop thinking about your ex with someone else when the two together are the only thing on your mind?
Well i am here to help. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to stop thinking about your ex with someone else and how to get them out of your mind for good.
With someone else, how to stop thinking about your ex
1. Sometimes, your heart needs more time to accept what is already known to your mind
If you can’t stop thinking about your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend with another man or woman, then there’s no doubt about one thing: you still haven’t gotten over it. It doesn’t mean that you are madly in love with your ex, but the truth is, you have a lot more to do.
Well, the healing process is going on. It doesn’t just take time – it has different phases as well. Currently, you are in denial.
It seems you can’t accept the fact that they have clearly evolved while you are still stuck in one place.
Accept what it is …
Whether you like it or not, this person is no longer a part of your life, so it’s time to stop waiting for them to come back. It’s not that you just broke up – they even see someone new.
You might as well know that it hurts, the truth is not vague here and you have to accept it. In fact, the sooner you do this, the sooner you will be able to drive those thoughts away from you.
The worst thing what you can do is lie to yourself. You are always mentally next to that person, and for you, the breakup never happened.
Of course, you have the impression that they are unfaithful. You feel betrayed, even though they haven’t technically overtaken you.
… give up what it was
The second step is to let the past go. It will not happen overnight. After all, if you could do it, you would stop thinking about it right away.
But you can’t, can you? And that’s perfectly reasonable, so I wouldn’t expect you to snap your fingers and forget that this man or woman never existed just because I asked you to.
However, there is something you can do. You can stop allowing yourself to think about all that could and should have because that is exactly what is holding you back in the past.
Do your best not to repeat the same scenarios over and over again in your head. I know your heart is broken, but you won’t sew it up by reopening your wounds at every opportunity.
… And have faith in what will be
Finally, look to the future. Maybe nothing is happening in your life right now, but trust me – if you focus on your plans and goals, soon you will see a difference.
Most important: have faith. Have faith that someday all this pain will be behind you. After all, you never know what tomorrow might bring you.
2. The fear you don’t face becomes your limit
The next step after acceptance is to face your fears. You’re actually in a funny situation right now.
If you take a closer look, you will see that you are actually doing two opposite things at the same time. You simultaneously imagine your ex and his new partner, but also, you flee your thoughts.
It sounds confusing, I know. Nonetheless, if you experience it, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
It’s not that you sit down and consciously think about it. Instead, these thoughts and similar thoughts suddenly appear in your mind in completely unexpected ways.
Most of the time, they don’t even have anything to do with whatever is going on around you right now. There you are, minding your own business and even convinced that you are almost on top of this situation.
However, this is where your demons start to haunt you. Of course, you try to drive them away. You fight with all your might, but without success.
The more you run, the more it pursues you
So instead of trying to escape your fears, be brave enough to look them straight in the eye. Again, this is closely related to acceptance.
Accept that your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is in a new relationship. If there are no pictures of them with their new GF or BF, view them together.
Imagine your ex taking this new person to all the places you have visited. Think about them kissing, holding hands, and being happier than ever.
Yes, you will break your own heart like that. But, absurd as it sounds, this is the road to recovery.
Believe me: after a while you will be immune to these visualizations. The photo of your ex with someone who is not you will become a completely normal scene that you will not mind.
Look at it this way: if you hit the emotional bottom (which you will do when you enter this stage), you can’t get anywhere but the top.
One of your biggest fears is that your loved one will cease to be yours. Not only that: they will find someone new and forget that you never existed.
Well guess what? This is happening right now. Your greatest fear is now a reality. But, there you are, you survive it. There is nothing more to fear – you are finally free.
3. You will experience a drastic change if you reframe your experience
People who can’t get over their ex all have one thing in common: they idealize their past relationship. And you are no exception.
It’s hard to admit, but you are jealous of this new person. There, I said it. You would give all you have just to take their place back.
Why? Because you think you would be the happiest person in the world next to your ex. You keep remembering your relationship and only think about the good things by acting like there aren’t any bad times at all.
You miss that person and now you see him through rose-colored glasses. Well, if you’re being honest things haven’t always been this perfect, have they?
Your previous relationship had its ups and downs – both good and bad things were happening. In fact, there were clearly more negatives and bad times; otherwise, you would still be together.
Don’t get me wrong: I don’t advise you to hate your ex. After all, I don’t know why you broke up – if they were a good partner while you were together or if you saw red flags that your romance was falling apart.
But the point is, things didn’t work out that way or the other. So why do you think this time would be any different?
What makes you think you would be happy if you were his girlfriend or boyfriend? Believe me, you won’t.
The point is to reframe your experiences. Instead of seeing your relationship as the greatest romance ever, think of it as a part of your life that didn’t go as planned.
Instead of seeing that new person as an intruder who steals your happiness, think of them as your partner’s new choice.
To wake up; it’s not a fairy tale and your breakup certainly isn’t the end of the world. I’m not here to lessen your pain – I’m just asking you to try to look at things more objectively.
Once you do, you will realize that unfortunately these things are happening. Besides, who said losing your ex won’t be your biggest blessing?