Sex is all about the thrill, anticipation, ramping up, and finally getting down to business. Or it can be spontaneous, come out of nowhere – literally, in some cases – and be taken by surprise. But once you’re done, what? Very few sex manuals bother to tell you what to do after you’ve done the deed. Now that the earth has stopped moving and your vision has returned to normal, here is the process.
What can be the good time to talk about sex than when you just did? “How was it for you?” is an underrated question: tell them what you particularly liked, what you can’t wait to try again next time. Better not to focus on the negatives or nag them for praise. “Did you come? You came? But did you do it? Did you? Are you sure?” will never get the answer you want. If you have any doubts as to how it turned out, approach them gently and be clear that you are only asking because you want to make sure that you are doing all you can to give them a good time. If you don’t trust yourself not to look like a one-star review on TripAdvisor, keep it to yourself.
2. Go to sleep
For some reason, falling asleep right after sex is considered the height of rudeness, like burping in a restaurant or yawning while someone talks to you about their problems. But for this one, you can blame basic biology. According to tireless research by desperate scientists 40 winks after the hazelnut, it could be due to a release of hormones that make you drowsy – prolactin, which tries to get you into REM sleep, and oxytocin. (more on that later) be the main culprits. Who are you to resist your body’s natural urges? Well my advice would be to invest in matches or maybe a can of Monster in bed, because the only thing less chivalrous than falling asleep before your partner comes before them.
Do you remember the oxytocin, which I mentioned a few moments ago? It’s also known as the “love hormone” or “hug hormone” because it’s released when people cuddle together and help you bond. It also works in social situations, helping you feel affection for the people you hang out with. Hugs build intimacy and can help you associate positive feelings with a person or situation. And… it can help them fall asleep faster, giving you more time to check your Twitter or Google “how to get someone out of me without waking them up” while their hair tickles your nose and you desperately try not to sneeze.
4. Couple selfie!
Do you think I’m kidding? A post-coital selfie? Who would do such a thing? Did you just get off a spaceship? Everyone does it. Just search Instagram for #aftersex (an empty stomach is advised). Why should you do this? Well, the influence of social media can be an aphrodisiac, I guess, and maybe anyone who wants to see that post-sex face in the flesh could drop a sneaky DM on you? Why shouldn’t you do it? Your boss is following you and… isn’t he… their partner right next to you?
5. Work Out
Going to the gym after sex might sound like a crazy idea – I guess it depends on how long you’re there – but sex releases endorphins, which makes you feel like you can take over the world, and a boost in testosterone can help. with muscle building. With that said, don’t just grab your lycra and bolt – take a break and gently explain to your partner that, yes, that was fantastic, but you’re ready to do some bicep curls and please, please be there when you come back.
6. Be clean
So you’re lying there in the afterglow, smells mingle, hearts and minds connected, and isn’t that great? But also, isn’t it … a little sticky? A little awesome? In the heat of the moment, you didn’t even have time to spray some eau de parfum in your pants. Could a shower be in order? For both of you, I mean. Or a bath, maybe? Don’t think of it as an escape from passion; Think of it as a sensual supplement. Lather, intense eye contact as you lather between their toes. Best case scenario: You find yourself so turned on by the slippery, soapy caresses that you go for the second round. Worst case: you crawl under sheets as clean as angels only to realize that you have to change your bed because now it is basically your sex sewer. Plus, giving yourself a little cleansing after intercourse can help prevent UTIs. Oh, and make sure you erase any sex toys you’ve used as well – safety first!
7. Second round
Do you think you have it in you? Would you like it in you? No pressure, but if you both feel like there’s an unfinished business, how about a sequel?
There is something about the post-climax lull when, for a few minutes, it feels like anything is possible. There are no rules, no limits, you can say it all. Sometimes that means we lose our minds a bit and go too far – now is not the time to propose, for example – but it is the perfect place to reflect on the blue sky, your hopes and your dreams. dreams, your aspirations. Now is, according to some research, a great time to ask for favors or to get your partner to agree to something. Keep it light and accessible. I’m talking more “Do we have to convert the loft?” or “Thailand or South America for next year’s vacation?” Than admit that you’ve always dreamed of having a # 1 single or trying to break the record for most cheese platters eaten in an hour.
9. Find your own space
There is scientific evidence – most likely uncovered by male scientists who are once again trying to get out of cuddles, the savages – that says it’s not uncommon to feel a temporary loss of attraction to your partner right after. sexual intercourse. Put this one back to biology – prolactin does its best to put you into restful sleep. This apparently helps the body to realign and return to a normal state – which is a very long and “scientific, bottom-of-a-shampoo bottle” way of saying that it’s okay to want to wander off and crack. on a cabinet before the Kleenex even hit the bottom of the wastebasket. “It’s scientific!” you can scream, from the back of their head, as they leave your life forever.