You’re probably a pretty secure woman. You know you’re strong and worthwhile, but sometimes your partner may say something that just makes you want to hide. It’s not just you — there are certain things men say that can make even the most confident woman feel bad about herself. I went to the experts to find out what those things are.
For most women, it’s the many little things that count. It’s not really about the big gestures. It’s the simple gestures, even it is like holding her hand in public. Similarly, it’s also the little things that you do that make her feel inadequate.
Guys, listen up: these are the things you’re saying that are making your partner feel insecure.
1. Telling obvious lies
You headed straight to your friend’s place and told her that you had a meeting. You could have told her whatever the truth was. Nothing would be harmed. Such lies may seem small and like a savior at that time but these simple lies do more harm in the future. Being honest and trustworthy are the two important ingredients in any relationship.
2. Wow, that girl is so hot
It baffles my mind that some men think it’s okay to ogle other women in front of their partners, and it probably surprises you as well. When a man talks about the attractiveness of other women, it’s a sure way to make you doubt yourself.
Christie Tcharkhoutian, a marriage and family therapist told me, “One of the most disrespectful things that men say in front of women is commenting about and objectifying other women. This makes women feel small and sets them up for insecurity.”
She advised that men should be respectful not only about what they say but “where their eyes wander.” She added, “Practice saying kind things to and about your partner, whether or not she is there. This will take you out of the habit of objectification and into appreciation.”
3. Hiding Their Phone
If your guy tries to keep whatever he’s doing on his phone hidden from your view, you’re naturally going to question what he’s doing and if he could be stepping outside of your relationship.
Everyone is entitled to their privacy, so it’s not as if you should be able to see every single thing he does on his phone, but if a guy jerks his phone out of your site whenever you’re around, this could be a red flag. It’s no wonder this makes women insecure, and if your partner often does this, it’s time to talk to him about what’s going on.
After all, it could be nothing, and you could be driving yourself crazy with curiosity, insecurity, anger for no reason! Something else to keep in mind: if you expect to be entitled to seeing whatever he does on his phone, he should get the same entitlement with your phone.
4. You’ve gained some weight
Unfortunately, many girls and women have insecurities about their weight deeply. Comments about that can trigger those insecurities and leave you feeling embarrassed about your appearance.
Saying anything negative about her appearance, even if well-intentioned, will only create insecurity and a feeling of inadequacy, which is unhealthy for any person or relationship.”
5. When you take forever to reply
It does not ask you to reply one minute after sending an SMS. However, enjoy it by checking your phone throughout the day, especially when you go out to drink and it’s already midnight. If you love your daughter, you won’t let her wait.
A simple text is enough to know that you are still thinking about her, even if you are having fun with guys. Any confident woman would feel in danger if her man never bothered to send her an answer. However, if she sends text messages every five minutes, even if she knows you’re busy, that’s another story.
6. When you talk endlessly about a girl
Unless you are talking about your mom or sister, your girlfriend will get jealous and a bit wary if you keep talking about a girl. This jealousy will get worse if you haven’t paid enough attention to it lately.
Of course, you are innocent and there is nothing more, but it could make your daughter a little insecure. The solution? If you continue to talk about a working girl, be sure to pay more attention to your girlfriend. To clear his suspicions, set a date to present them to each other.
7. When you don’t notice or compliment her new haircut
If she has made an effort to look good and you don’t give a damn, it will be a big blow to her self-esteem. Let’s go. Pay attention to your daughter. But men don’t notice these things, you say. Well, this is a lame excuse. You don’t need to simulate a compliment every time there is something new, but at least say something when she has a new haircut or when she just bought new lingerie.
8. When you keep her a secret
Are you hiding it from your family? Is she your secret love? It’s good if you’ve only been together for a few months, but if you’ve been together for more than a year and still hide it from your friends, don’t be surprised if it’s not safe. Why are you keeping it secret? If you love someone, you’re ready to shout their name until the whole world knows you’re together. It doesn’t take much. Just uploading a photo of yourself together on Facebook is great for your daughter. If social media is not your thing, then at least embrace it in public.
9. When you keep secrets from her
Women are very intuitive. They can know if you are hiding secrets from them. If you do this too often to your daughter, she will start to feel like you are excluding her from your life. Maybe it’s good if you hide secrets from her just to protect her, but if you hide her because you are afraid she will judge you or you are afraid that she will tell her friends, then you better deal with your other problems.
Tell him your secrets, but make him promise not to hate you or share it with anyone else. If you continue to keep secrets, it will become a habit for you and it will start to feel less than adequate.
10. Bringing up past insecurities
While there are universal statements that will make a woman insecure, one of the worst things your partner can do is to intentionally mention things that he knows can make you feel insecure, especially as a weapon when ‘an argument.
Kryss Shane, a master licensed social worker, said, “For example, if a woman had terrible acne in her teens and was ashamed at the time, if a man calls her face pizza, he intentionally talks about these memories of childhood and evoke those feelings. again.”
11. Tell Them to Wear More Makeup
Many women feel like they have to “make up” and when their partners encourage them to do so, it often adds to the pressure and insecurity around them.
Makeup should be a fun and optional thing for men and women to wear, and no one should be able to tell you that you have to wear more or less. When your boyfriend or husband comments on your makeup, it is yet another comment that may be innocent but that causes painful feelings. This can make you feel like your partner is not attracted to you in your most natural state, or that they were never attracted to you in the first place because of the makeup you were wearing.
If these kinds of comments hurt your feelings or make you feel insecure, talk about them and let them know, because they may have no idea how their words affect you.
12. When you talk about your ex
Why should you talk about your ex? It shouldn’t be part of the world you create together, right? This will only make your girlfriend uncomfortable and insecure. But if you really want to talk about her or that it can’t be helped, just make sure you have no feelings for her. At the end of your conversation, your girlfriend should feel that she is the only one you want now.
13. When you talk with your ex
Let’s just say that you are your ex’s best friends and you really don’t want to lose her. But let’s not forget that you have had sex with your ex a lot of times in the past. The fact that you had sexual chemistry and sexual history is reason enough for your daughter to be in danger. How can she beat your ex?
She has been with you much longer than the two of you, and she is your “best friend”. Good luck with that. The only woman who can tolerate your friendship with your ex is someone who doesn’t care. Just make sure you won’t be jealous if she gets too close to her ex.
14. Not considering her opinion
Insecurity in a relationship also arises when partners make their individual decisions. Don’t make important decisions like moving to another city or changing jobs without counting it. After all, you are building a relationship together and that will only make her feel less important if you don’t consult her.
15. Criticize Their Eating Habits
Women are constantly under pressure to look a certain way and be told what to eat by anyone, let alone the man we love, can be very hurtful and trigger a lot of harmful feelings. If a man comments on what you eat, you can think of him like that, which implies that he wants you to eat differently or eat less, as this will make you thinner and therefore more attractive to him. Your food choices should be left to you, and I hope your love respects that and keeps its mouth shut, so to speak when it comes to what you eat.
His comments might not have any bad intentions behind them, but could ultimately make you feel insecure, which can not only hurt your self-esteem but also have lasting negative effects on your relationship. Let your man know how these comments make you feel and you may be surprised that he doesn’t know they make you feel what they do.
16. Resisting Commitment
Things like “I don’t want to put labels on it” or “Let’s take it slow and see where it goes” can be huge red flags for women in relationships when they hear that from the guy with whom they out. When you’re ready to dive headlong into a relationship and label it an “official couple”, it’s incredibly disappointing and can make you feel like they don’t like you as much as they do.
Take his actions into account with his words, because if he shows you how much he cares about you with his actions but that his words do not match, it can in fact come from insecurity on his side because he does not want not to lose yourself or admit how much he cares about you. But if he tells you he doesn’t want to hire you, and his actions prove it, take this as a sign that it’s time to move on.
17. Playing Hot and Cold
Ladies: Is there anything more confusing and frustrating in a relationship than a guy who plays hot and cold with you? Some days he can’t get enough of you and wants to talk to you and be with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, only for the next day to move around and he acts like he can make fun of you or even see you again. For some, an episode is enough for a woman to cancel things with someone, but this is not the case for everyone.
Some of us are attracted the next time he starts playing “hot” again, because we have high hopes for what the relationship might be, and we remember how good it is when it is inside. Knowing that a man could go back and play cold at any time will make you feel unsafe in your relationship, and it’s much easier for both parties to be just open and honest with how you feel and why. you act as you are.
18. Disappearing for Days at a Time
We all know that when we really love someone, we would never spend days on purpose without talking to them unless there are extenuating circumstances that keep you from getting in touch. This is why it is so hurtful when someone else does it to us without explanation.
Obviously, if a guy can go away for days without talking to you, he doesn’t care enough about your feelings to save you from the pain that is causing you, or he doesn’t love you enough to need to talk to or see you. regularly. Some guys will do it and come back crawling, begging for forgiveness, and quite often it works because we want to believe someone’s best.
However, once someone has done this once, it will still be in our mind and we will wonder when the next time our boyfriend is going to disappear from us. NOT COOL, guys. Uncool.
19. Being Flaky With Plans
When you are dying to spend time with your partner, you only hope that he will feel the same way and that he is looking forward to seeing you too. When guys are hesitant to commit to plans and don’t like to set specific dates and times to do things together, it will make women unsafe.
Some people are unstable in all their relationships, friendships or otherwise, but when it always happens in a romantic relationship, it poses a lot of problems. If someone doesn’t make specific plans with you, you might be wondering if it’s because they’re waiting to make plans with someone else or they’re not happy to spend time with you. If someone resists making plans with you, it could be a sign that they really aren’t in you, and of course, it makes us insecure.
20. Not Wanting to Be Intimate
Women in the media are often described as those who say “have a headache” and don’t want to be intimate with their man, while men are portrayed as always ready to go with anyone anytime.
In real life, men really have moments when they just aren’t in the mood. This may not be often, but certain conditions and situations make a man less likely to want to be intimate with his partner. Although there are often good physiological explanations for this, it can make a woman very insecure when her partner does not want to be intimate with her.
Women may view this as a sign that he is not attracted to her or that he is receiving intimate attention from someone else. Of course, there is always a chance that this is true, but there is often an entirely different explanation, so before letting this derail your relationship, discuss the problem with your partner.