Extramarital relationships are common these days. And more men have extramarital affairs than women.Many say, ‘I am a one-woman man’, but how many of them can fulfil this promise till eternity? With temptations like adultery and infidelity, extramarital affairs are eroding countless couple relationships, just like a termite.
According to an article in the New York Times the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy conducted a national survey that indicates that 15 percent of married women and 25 percent of married men have had extramarital affairs. The incidence is about 20 percent higher when emotional and sexual relationships without intercourse are included.
A hard-hitting reality is extramarital affair sees no young or old, rich or poor. It just attacks the vulnerabilities in a couple’s life and puts their marriage at risk. But if you think all extramarital affairs result from a common temptation, then you might be wrong.
While some blame it on the astrological influence (yes, that too!) the fact is, infidelity is very common in middle-aged married men.
Causes of extramarital affairs range from boredom in long-term relationships, to frequent disagreements among couples and fizzling out of sexual chemistry is one major reason why men start looking for physical intimacy outside the marriage.
Not every extramarital affair happens for the same reasons but most extramarital affairs have a similar anatomy. Boy falls madly in love with girl, they tie the knot then starts the grind called marriage, responsibilities and duties. Inevitably the excitement is lost and that’s when men start looking for adventures outside the marriage.
This is not only true about men it’s true about women too. While more women look for an emotional anchor outside the marriage and get involved in emotional affairs, men more often look for physical gratification.
12 Reasons Why Men Have Extramarital Affairs
Why husbands have extramarital affairs? There are many reasons why men engage in cheating their spouse. While some blame it on the astrological influence (yes, that too!) the fact is, infidelity is very common in middle-aged married men. Infamously known as the mid-life crisis, many men seek external sources of emotional and sexual pleasure.
Some affairs generally start as emotional affairs, and men do not even count them as cheating. Let us look at some of the breeding grounds that push many men towards extramarital affairs. These are the main reasons for extramarital affairs.

1. Do you think early marriage was a “mistake”

What prompts a man to seek love on the outside? When he begins to regard his marriage as a mistake, a man begins to seek love outside of it.
Many men who marry in their early twenties feel they have made a commitment to marry too soon. Due to a lack of life experience and family responsibilities, many of them regret having lost all the fun in life. To “undo” this mistake, many of the young men can indulge in extramarital affairs to bring excitement and fun into their life.
As they are more stable financially and socially by the time they reach 30, they indulge in extramarital affairs and add momentum to their otherwise boring life. Early marriage could be one of the main reasons a husband goes for an extramarital affair.

2. Married due to family influence

Many of the Indian men who accept an arranged marriage marry without knowing the potential life partner end up looking for love outside of their marriage. They “compromise” due to family or social pressures.
This “choice of life partner” is a potential “gamble for life” that may or may not work for such men. Perhaps they are all too consumed with their own thoughts to match their spouse’s energy. In other cases, the wife may turn out to be an annoying partner who cannot understand them.
This dissatisfaction and unhappiness in marriage opens the door to infidelity in men. They may immediately find themselves attracted to someone who may be a better couple than their current spouse and cheat on them. This is one of the main reasons men have extramarital affairs.
It often begins as an innocent flirtation, progresses to an emotional relationship, and eventually ends up as a full-fledged affair.

3. The entry of an “ex” into life

The entry of an old flame or an “ex” into life could trigger an extramarital affair in an already disconnected couple. Many men feel that an ex could fill the emotional void and may feel tempted to rekindle the long-lost romance and happiness in their lives.
Most men and women who have been in a relationship at one point in time immediately feel attracted to each other when they meet after a few years. The entry of an ex is a lethal reason for a husband to have an extramarital affair.
The balance of boring everyday life and the midlife crisis plays its part and they feel attracted. This could be a powerful reason why men cheat on their spouse, even when their married life goes smoothly. So in the end, it is difficult to understand the
psychology behind an extramarital affair.
A person may be happy in their marriage but still be in a relationship. Boredom could be a reason for an extramarital affairs.

4. Not feeling appreciated in marriage

A man seeks love outside of marriage when he does not feel appreciated in marriage. A marriage is only successful when both partners are valued for their strengths. But it has often been observed that a woman is too consummate in balancing her personal and professional responsibilities.
In such situations, he may neglect or ignore his partner or take him for granted. Or he might subconsciously reject him or regularly devalue his views. This ongoing pattern can hinder the quality of communication between the couple.
Already dejected, such a man may seek “appreciation and acceptance” from a close friend of the opposite sex and yield to the temptations of an emotional relationship. This is another major reason a husband is having an affair.

5. An escape from a life of boredom

Adultery in men is of several types. Some men simply engage in an extramarital relationship out of sheer boredom and the mundane nature of their married life.
Life with a wife and children becomes “smooth”, predictable, and the sheer risk of a relationship ignites a new spirit in them. This could bring adventure into a dull and bland life and is an easy escape for such individuals. Many men feel alive after being in a relationship, and the need to keep it as a bad secret is what they thrive on.
Sexually starved men seek out consensual married women to satisfy their sexual desires. Lack of action in bed often prompts them to get involved in adultery. Especially after children, many couples abstain from sex in marriage. This leads to physical dissatisfaction in marriage and prompts men to get involved in an extramarital relationship without commitment. This extramarital affair is one of convenience
There are a number of adult dating sites online, where married men post their requirements to be involved with someone in a strictly “no strings” (NSA) physical relationship.
Some married men are charmers and court single women, while some enter into physical relationships with married women to avoid complications.

6. Commitment-free satisfaction of sexual desires

Men who are sexually starved look for consensual married women to fulfil their sexual desires. The lack of action in bed often drives them to get involved in adultery. Especially after children, many couples refrain from sex in marriage. This leads to physical dissatisfaction in marriage and prompts men to get involved in a commitment-free extramarital affair. This extramarital relationship is of convenience.
There are a number of adult dating sites online, where married men post their requirements to be involved with someone in a strictly “no strings” (NSA) physical relationship.
Some married men are charmers and court single women, while some enter into physical relationships with married women to avoid complications.

7. You lose the flavor of sex life

Often, a man’s parameter of a successful marriage lies in sex and intimacy. It gives him self-esteem and opens up ways to communicate and bond with his wife. But if the husband and wife are not on the same page, intimacy can cause him to satisfy his physical needs outside of marriage.
This could be purely physical or emotional, depending on the man’s needs. Men who are in extramarital affairs are not looking for any kind of long-term relationship, but his need to get involved in infidelity is mainly due to the need to easily spice up his sex life.
But in other cases, there are married men who post their need to be emotionally engaged to someone out of wedlock. The lack of emotional connection between husband and wife often opens up situations where the man seeks emotional support and friendship from someone else. A dead bedroom is one of the reasons most men choose an extramarital affair.

8. Seek intellectual stimulation with the “other woman”

You may think he’s a good husband, but why is he having an affair? The difference in professions between husband and wife often paves the way for extramarital affairs. In most cases, a professional married to a housewife does not receive emotional and intellectual stimulation while talking to their spouse.
For this reason, he seeks out someone from his job or similar background to achieve emotional and intellectual stimulation while talking to your spouse.
For this reason, he seeks out someone from his job or similar background to achieve emotional fulfillment. However, in most of these cases, relationships are not limited to just the emotional exchange; rather it turns out to be more physical.

9. Get motivated at work

Nowadays, such extramarital affairs are very common among businessmen. Men in extramarital affairs are often involved in workplace affairs. They give them energy at work and often get seriously involved in their business. They organize tours and trips with the person they are involved with by balancing commitments at home.
Many wealthy businessmen often seek out bold secretaries and assistants with the motive of adultery. In such cases, the employers enter into a pre-established contract based on mutual benefits with the chosen employee. However, these types of relationships are mostly physical and contain almost no emotional element.
Furthermore, such “workplace deals” with a much younger woman can put such bosses in a more vulnerable position where they can be accused of sexual harassment.
Extra-marital affairs in the workplace are common

10. Disagreements on core value and priorities

Why do men have extramarital affairs? What are the causes of extramarital affairs? Relentless arguments may be at the top of the list.
Arguments are part of every couple’s life. But in difficult situations, these topics could expose some serious compatibility problems. Expectations other than life and conflicting core values ​​can affect marriage. In many cases, such ongoing disagreements make a marriage toxic for a couple.
Over time, the differences become so huge that a couple finds it impossible to agree on basic daily decisions. Such irreconcilable differences and daily quarrels could prompt a man to have an extramarital affair for emotional support. A woman who lends an ear to such a man gets all his attention and love, and they slowly develop an intimate bond.

11. Something new is needed to deflect the midlife crisis

Getting attention and admiration from a young woman increases confidence and self-esteem in an aging man. In family life, he often feels “taken for granted” by his wife and children. Doing so much for the family and getting nothing in return could sow the seeds of dissatisfaction in life.
At this stage, if a potentially younger woman recognizes her strengths, life experience, and maturity, she may love attention and succumb to the temptation to break free of the midlife crisis. Hence, this irresistible chemistry could lead to an intense relationship.
In many situations, he can be a “sugar daddy” for such a woman and can help her make important decisions in life. Some men also have relationships purely for career advancement, especially if their supervisor is a lady. This is another good reason a husband is having an affair.

12. Get validation in life

Men are always pushed towards younger and more beautiful women. Dating a younger woman could be a big boost to her self-esteem versus spending a boring life with an older spouse who isn’t worried about her looks and self-image. This new company could make him feel special and could draw him into a warm and adventurous relationship. The thrill and excitement help break the monotony of life for men and they feel happy and euphoric.
In the words of Chuck Swindoll, an extramarital affair starts in the head, long before it ends up in bed. These potential triggers can cause many Indian men to cheat on their wives.
In these situations, we can introduce men to the truth of the moment. Adultery may seem like an easy escape from a troubled marriage, but it will actually add to the complications in your life. Instead of ending up in an extramarital affair and complicating relationship equations, why not address the real problems of your marriage?
Our bonobology relationship counselors also agree that instead of suffering alone in marriage, a man needs to talk to his wife, deal with relationship issues, and resolve to improve quality of life. Isn’t that an easy way to get rid of many marital problems? You can also share your perspective on how to prevent extramarital affairs and divorces with a little wisdom in life.

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