Telling your parents that you have a girlfriend can seem like a daunting task, especially if you grew up in a conservative and protective environment. But then, if you’re dating someone and don’t feel comfortable keeping secrets from your parents, you’ll feel like you’re cheating on them. Also, if your girlfriend has told her parents about you, it’s also a bit rude and inconsiderate not to offer her the same courtesy.
When you are in a serious relationship, you want to tell the whole world about it and how special she is to you. You want to post loving photos on social media, tag each other in cute posts, and take every opportunity to express love and care. You are happy and you want to announce your happiness to the world. But you can’t do that, especially in these social media times where everyone is connected with everyone. You feel helpless and frustrated, plus your girlfriend thinks you are not a man because you are unable to stand up for yourself and her in front of your family.
And that’s when you realize it’s time to start thinking about how to break the news of having a girlfriend to your parents and make sure they respond positively. This is where we will help you.
10 ways to tell your parents you have a girlfriend
So how do you tell your parents that you have a girlfriend? There is never a right or wrong time to tell your parents about your girlfriend. For everyone, we know they’ve already thought of an answer since you were maybe 16! They have a speech ready for the moment when the son tells them he is in love. Expect these reactions, maybe you can even laugh with them by reading this together.
In any case, if you are confident that you are with the girl and you feel that she is an integral part of your life and makes you happy, your parents should know about her. They should know that you have chosen someone truly great and that they have nothing to worry about when it comes to your relationship. Choose a nice day or time when they are normally not stressed. Either an early evening or maybe Sunday works best. All of you should have plenty of time for a detailed discussion, to listen to each other calmly and answer any questions they may have. Furthermore, you can also check with them what their expectations are from your life partner, in case you get to that stage. Here are 10 ways to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend.
1. Introduce her as your friend
Small steps, always small steps. Introduce her as a good friend who happens to be a girl. Let them know that your best friend is of a different gender. Your parents will be more open to getting to know her when they know she is just a friend. Have her come home and talk casually about her parents, her upbringing, and if your two families have people or friends in common, talk about them. He can also read a bit about your parents’ interests to talk about things they are interested in. Make sure he comes with other friends so that he looks innocent enough. Introduce her first as your girlfriend will put them on the defensive and maybe they’ll live up to their antennae and start judging her.
2. Start making suggestions
Start suggesting to your parents that she is close to you by including her in your conversations. “Rachel brought me the soup when I told her I was sick” is a subtle but effective way to make hints. Prove that Rachel cares about you and is a close friend. Your parents will love that someone is there to take care of you in their absence. This will also make them more comfortable with her presence, seeing her in a positive light. We have a nice piece from Kiran about how he got his boyfriend’s mom over.
3. Show that you are doing well in life
Most parents fear that having a girlfriend / boyfriend will hinder their son / daughter’s studies / work / ambitions. You need to make sure none of your personal and professional goals are hindered because of your relationship.
Invest even more in your future. Do all the things you excel at and, if possible, do more projects. This will show that your girlfriend is having a positive influence on you and that you can balance your relationship with all other household chores. When you tell them about the relationship, they will see that they have nothing to worry about. If possible, write “Racheal suggested that I take this additional course which might help you get a better job.”
4. Tell your girlfriend first
Tell your girlfriend that you are thinking of telling your parents about your relationship. If she’s comfortable, ask her for suggestions. He can give you advice on how to get closer to your parents and can also help you prepare. You can both discuss which aspect of her personality will be most attractive to her parents. You two can find common interests between her and your parents and talk about them.
If he has already told his parents about you, then he can give you directions and will also assure you that there is nothing to worry about. When you tell your parents that her parents know, it also gives the relationship some validity.
5. Talk to them privately
If you stay in a close family, try to pick a day when you can have everything to yourself. Ask them to listen to what you have to say and think about it for a day before they pick up the phone and start talking about their relationship with their loved ones. Ask them that this is a personal problem within the immediate family and for a few days you would like to keep it that way. This way you can suspend any negative judgments from your friends and family who have had unhappy experiences.
6. Be respectful to them
When reporting news like this, it’s important to be respectful of your parents. It is normal for them to react negatively to the news as it will take some time to get used to the fact that you have someone else in your life now. Talk to them in an empathic voice and help them understand how important this relationship is to you. Reassure them that their thoughts on this are as important to you as they are to your girlfriend. That she is of the same opinion. Give them importance, make them feel that they have a say and that you care about how they think and react. One person actually went all the way and told his parents that he is ready to wait until the parents feel like meeting him and getting to know him better, until he can refrain from being with her completely. She added: “She is so like your mother, I feel you will love her.” But, of course, he was on the ground.
7. Keep it simple
It is not necessary to make it long and convoluted, keep the speech simple, your eyes should convey the deep feelings. Tell them how you know each other and how it started. Make them part of your journey and, if possible, enter a household name or two that may relate it to them. “Hey dad, I wanted to talk to you about something. You know Amita, the daughter of our Priti’s aunt’s sister, the two of us have been seeing each other for some time. He’s very sweet and he wanted to meet you two too. We get along very well and make each other laugh a lot. I really like her. She makes me happy. “Tell them how the relationship makes you feel and how much it meant to talk to them about it.
8. Remind them that they were once your age
If you see your whole plan falling apart, ask them to remember the time they were young. When the emotion of love has overwhelmed them, make them remember those times. Also, they may be concerned about what will happen if you make the same mistakes they did. Reassure them that you need to learn from your experiences and that you will always talk to them when in doubt. Call on them to trust you.
9. Ask them how they feel about it
It is common for parents to react negatively when they discover their child’s relationship. Getting used to such a thing takes time. Ask them how they feel about your relationship. Be open to criticism. Tell them you understand how overwhelming it can be and that you are willing to wait. You can also share some anecdotes about what happened to your girlfriend when she talked to her parents. Here is a piece on that.
How they feel about it will help you understand the amount of effort you and your girlfriend will need to put in to prove to them that she is the right person for you. Take their criticisms as pointers to work on so that you can turn these negatives into positives.
10. Don’t force them to accept it
If your parents aren’t responding well to your relationship, don’t feel guilty and don’t get angry with them. You have to give them time to accept it. You have to understand that they don’t know your girlfriend like you do and that letting someone else come into their lives is a big step. Don’t force them to accept the relationship. Instead, arrange opportunities for your girlfriend to meet your parents and get to know them better. Once they get to know her, all their fears about the relationship will slowly begin to subside.
If you’ve talked to your parents about the relationship and plan to meet them, be sure to prepare it well. You don’t want to reluctantly create a bad impression of her. Make sure she knows all about your parents and is prepared for what’s to come. If your parents are against the relationship, don’t take action.
Understand their perspective and know that they have a right to feel this way. Put yourself in their shoes and think about it. Give them time to wrap this news around their heads and they will eventually recover.