There are few things as awkward as a first date (although running into a estranged ex qualifies for the top spot). There is the novelty, the uncertainty of how the night will turn out and the pressure to make a good impression on both sides – the list is endless. But while I’m sure the men are in their own orbit of panic about this, the women, on the same side (but more extreme), have about a million thoughts going through their minds when we sit opposite. of you at the start of something new. Cutting down to just ten seemed like a task, but it’s safe to say that every woman on a first date has had at least some of these issues. For example…
1. What you have planned
If you’ve asked us to go out (and not the other way around), we’ll notice how much effort you put into the first date. If you’re wondering if that translates into an extravagant meal and its sides (read; flowers, champagne, and other really expensive items), that’s not all. It’s not the money you flash that matters, but the thought you gave to the date; like taking us to a place we’d probably love or take out cupcakes for dessert that you know we’d love.
2. If you are a player
Oh, come on, sure, we’re thinking about it. If we’re in the same headspace and are returning players (a la Samantha Jones from Sex And The City) then it probably won’t matter. But if we’re looking for something real, we certainly wonder how many women there have been in the past – and how many are likely to surface in the future.
3. If you compliment us
Even though this is the most occasional situation, if we like you, we’ll try to look good on you on a first date. It could be anything, from stepping out in our sexiest little black dress for a drink to wearing a cute t-shirt and nude lipstick for a movie night, but we’re going to beautify ourselves. If efforts have been made and you don’t even notice it, I promise we will take it to heart. A simple “You look nice” will suffice, but if that LBD came out of hiding for you, amplify it to a “You look beautiful”, would you please?
4. If our friends like you
The Spice Girl said it best: “If you want my lover, you have to be with my friends”. You really do. Most of us have something of a tight clique to an extensive cartel of close friends, and our opinion matters. Love might be blind, but our friends are our relationship sight dogs, and if we think they’re going to have a legitimately bad vibe out of you, you might be toast.
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5. How you treat staff
If you treat a waiter with disrespect, or ogle the hostess as we walk in, the mental notes start to make. While you might treat us phenomenally, if you treat staff at a restaurant, bar, or wherever they are second-class citizens supposed to serve you, a second date is probably irrelevant. .
6. How well you look at your phone
We get it – the allure of checking every Instagram notification that pops up is seemingly impossible to conquer. But if you can’t get a handle on it during the time we’re together, that’s talking about something bigger. The big benefit of a first date (once you avoid the embarrassment) is the excitement of meeting someone you’re interested in. If your face is buried in your phone, you clearly aren’t.
7. If we are safe with you
One of the saddest things about dating in a social climate like ours is that there’s always a good chance you’re a murderer. It’s a lot less about whether you are going to protect us from Bollywood-style morons and much more about whether we should protect ourselves from you. When we go out with you, we constantly wonder if you’re someone who understands consent, if you’re pushy – basically, if we can trust you.
8. Why are you single
There’s a good chance you’re wondering about us too, and just because it’s ridiculous worrying (especially) doesn’t mean it doesn’t stop us. The older we both are – and the more we welcome you on the first date – the more likely we are to wonder why you haven’t been trapped yet. However, in better news, it’s more likely to be a fleeting thought than a panic button for most of us.
9. If we seem nervous
Hey man, you’re not the only one at the table trying to be cool at Lebowski’s level. We also make a first impression, and the last thing we want is for you to spot our inner jitterbugs. We all have our nervous stories, and we’ll probably wonder more than once during the evening if we’re speaking too fast, playing with our napkin, or gesturing too much.
10. What happens next
Will there be a sequel to this film? Do we want there to be? Do you? The “What next?” question starts to arise around the middle of the date for most of us, because that’s when we have a rough idea of whether we want to keep seeing you or not. If we are in you, we will start to speculate if you are also in us; and if you ask us again. If we’re not, then sorry, but we started to strategize on how to get out of this for dessert.